The Weezie Going Blog

Hard to Swallow

Something I do that my sister’s hate is swallow really loudly. I feel so bad about it, because I’m annoyed by it as well. At times I fear swallowing loudly, for example at a movie, in a library, on a date, or at an extremely quiet yoga class. But, my fear of it only makes it worse. Because I try to not swallow for as long as possible, that when I finally decide to just go for it, it’s louder, longer, and more upsetting to me than it would’ve been if I had just done it right away.

I know exactly when my fear/dread of swallowing started and if I could do anything I’d go back in time to that nail salon in 6^th grade, where for the first time I accidentally swallowed very loudly as the male doing my nails pushed back my cuticles and stared into my eyes. He didn’t look disgusted, but disturbed, which hurt me even more. I wish I could go back and tell myself that it was just a fluke swallow and not to worry about my future swallowing. I’d also tell myself to cool it with the butterfly clips, in the end they weren’t worth the pain and discomfort. 

My Last Home Remedy and Dr. Oz Post!

Lately I feel like all I do is Google homemade health remedies and try them. This weekend I took an Epsom salt bath per doctor Oz’s request. He told me it would get the toxins out of my body and relax me. So I bought some bath salt and got my bath ready. As I poured the bath salt into my tub I read the directions on the container telling me to sit in the bath for 20-30 minutes. “Okay, maybe it will be nice to relax and just sit for a half hour,” I though. But then I really thought about it. Sitting in a bath for 30 minutes is weird to me. As I sat, contemplating the decisions in my life that lead me to this point, I began to sweat profusely. I don’t know what it is about salt baths but I was burning hot and my heart was beating rapidly. I checked the clock and I had only been in the bath for 10 minutes. As I thought about what to do I got stressed causing me to sweat more and increase my heart rate. After 5 more minutes I had to get out.

After, I dried off I came back to my senses. At first I thought, well that was weird and then I felt proud. Proud that I had tried something new and proud that I was able to stay in that painful bath for as long as I did. After accomplishing this salt bath, I knew there was nothing that I couldn’t do. I can climb the tallest mountain, swim with sharks, or skydive. I could do anything…except maybe another salt bath because I really don’t want to sweat that much while sitting ever again. 

Lolliblog: Compliment? Insult? You Decide.

An Apple A Day Keeps the Doctor Away…I Hope Not

I’ve fallen in love with Dr. Oz. My friends and family don’t understand my love but I don’t care. All I know is that he’s there for me every day at 4 and available to answer all my health concerns any time of day on the Internet.

I’ve seen Dr. Oz twice in my life. The first time he was at a farmers market, eating an apple. The second time he was on an elevator, eating an apple. I didn’t say anything either time. I was too in shock. I wasn’t prepared. I suppose I could’ve said something about the apple, but would that sound creepy? I guess, my staring, with my mouth open was just as creepy.

To avoid another creepy encounter I’ve come up with a plan in case we meet again. I’ll be standing outside his studio, apple in hand. He’ll come outside; spot me, and he’ll also have an apple. He’ll smile and we’ll nod at each other in acknowledgement. Nothing else, no words required. 

My Experience with Grapeseed Oil

This Saturday my feelings of boredom and dissatisfaction combined with my longing of change and adventure lead me down a destructive path for my hair, my confidence, and my sense of self. It all started, as most of my Saturday mornings do; Googling home remedies or vitamins for faster hair growth. As I read about the miraculous effects of grapeseed oil, there was no way I could resist it. As I rubbed the warm oil on my scalp, adrenaline set in. I bravely decided to put more oil than called for in the recipe. I also decided to put the oil on my face after reading that putting oil on your face has anti-aging benefits. As I waited for 30 minutes as the oil set in, I looked at myself in the mirror and felt like a new woman. I may have been greasy but I felt like the person I’ve always wanted to be, a daredevil, a risk taker, a grapeseed oiler-upper. I felt invigorated.

 It wasn’t until my shower, until everything went downhill. I thought I had washed out the oil completely but my hair felt so greasy. I looked like the baby of Danny Zuko and a poodle. To stay away from this undesired look I decided to straighten it, thinking the heat would magically transform my greasy poodle hair into smooth, shiny, Kim Kardashian-like hair, but to no avail. I debuted my greasy look to my sisters and my sister Sarah told me, “You have to stop putting weird shit in your hair.” Which was the best hair advice I’d received all day. 

A Dream of Passion

I have to watch this movie, “A Dream of Passion” for my class and I decided to google it and see exactly I would be getting myself into. I found this review:

“The powerfully riveting performances of Burstyn and Mercouri in this spell-binding tale of love and betrayal, acted out and reenacted in the timeless story of the theme in Euripides original story Medea, left me speechless in my chair. Others got up to leave. I just sat there. The next showing came and went, then a third. This movie left me paralyzed and mute for over six hours.”

OMG I don’t want to watch this movie!

Contests

Whenever I see something online for winning anything, money, clothes, a vacation. Even if I have to fill out some stupid survey, if there’s a chance I could win something I just have to do it. I know some people would say that it’s completely stupid and pointless. Well I don’t really care. Just trying gives me hope. Filling out a survey on Glamour.com probably took me about 35 minutes, but I don’t think of that as wasted time. Oh no, that’s 35 minutes of pure hope right there. That hope then extends throughout my whole life because I wake up every morning and think to myself maybe today’s the day. Maybe I’ll find out about all my contests today. If this day never comes, so be it. I’ve got hope and that’s all I need. That being said one million dollars would greatly help, as would any of my contest prizes!

Hairtopia

I cut my hair last year and I really regret it. I miss my long hair. So I’ve been really focused on my hair growth lately. Like, really focused. During my free time, and I have a lot of free time I Look up vitamins and drugs that I can take to make my hair grow faster. At first I was just like. “it’s okay Eliza, it’s just normal procrastination. Don’t worry!”  I started to feel really bad about it though when I found this product called HAIRTOPIA™ The website says “it was personally developed by Karen, working with a team of chemists around the country.  She spent over two years researching various vitamin offerings and products.  She wanted to find a way to market the best possible mineral and vitamin product for hair, while also evaluating cost and utilization factors.” It costs $50! That’s ridiculous. But what’s even more ridiculous for me is the fact that Karen worked with a team of chemists for over two years. I feel bad for those chemists. They probably wanted to help people by researching cures for cancer or AIDS or something, but no there stuck working with Karen researching ways to make hair grow faster. I feel like Karen kind of forced them into this field. I bet she threatened them. After all, that is the only way to get a team of chemists under your belt now a days. Karen knows how to boss people around. I mean she bossed around a whole team of chemists for two years! Chemists are smart.

Sorry!

Dear blog,

I’m so sorry for leaving you the way I did. My departure from you was so abrupt. All I left you with was that commercial for gas-x. I’m so embarrassed. Well, I’m back now if you’re willing to have me in your life again. Something tells me that your kind heart will accept me once more. But, blog, you do have to admit you were pretty bitchy to me! You know what, forget it. Let’s just leave the past in the past and start over.